Perfection

Perfect was something I strived to be when I was little. I truly believed that the more perfect I was, the more loved I would be. This mentality of perfection actually led me to struggle in relationships with others. I believed that I had to get everything right in the things that I said and did for those around me to love me. It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized how flawed this thinking was.

There are two major problems with this mindset.

1. I will never be perfect and

2. My focus was on being perfect for those around me

2. My focus was on being perfect for those around me, a.k.a. people-pleasing, not focused on God’s love for me and what He says about me.

aka people pleasing, not focused on God’s love for me and what he says about me.

Many of us still live with the belief that have to be perfect to be loved, successful, important. But we need to ask ourselves: who are we trying to be perfect for - God or people? If it is for people then we are going to exhaust ourselves and sacrifice the quality of our lives and our family’s lives. We will chase the perfect life that we see on someone’s highlight reel or compare ourselves to the family across the street, our coworker, or even fellow believers.

II have to admit, my expectations of perfection weren't rooted in God's expectations for me. My perfectionism was rooted in my desire to be loved by others. It took me years to realize this. Through conversations with others, I came to understand that my adult perfectionism stemmed from expectations I had set for myself, not anyone else.

I had to confront the fact that the expectations that I believed in for so long were not the same as God's expectations for me. If we are trying to be perfect for God then we will never be successful. We have to realize we can never reach perfection. It is unattainable for us.

The good news is that I don't need to be perfect. As a believer, I know that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. When he died, we were gifted with righteousness. This means when we believe in Jesus, God already sees us as righteous. We don’t have to push ourselves to our breaking point to achieve perfection. Jesus already achieved perfection for us. There is such a reward and peace in knowing that God loves us even though we aren’t perfect. He sees us as He sees his own son, Jesus, who was perfect.

As a recovering perfectionist, I want to focus more on the quality of my relationships with God, my family, and my friends. I want my kids to know that they are loved, especially when they don't get everything right. Whenever you feel like you have to be perfect and it's weighing on you, remember this; God sees you striving to be the best person you can be, God knows your heart and He loves you. You don't have to keep being perfect because the perfect sacrifice was already made for YOU!