Managing Christmas Expectations

I don’t know about you, but I have been one of those people who set high expectations for how I think the Christmas season will go. I picture all the things that I plan going perfectly—kind of like a TV movie. My husband laughs at me and tells me that my expectations are set too high. And don’t tell him that I said this, but he is right. 

At Christmas, I picture the smiles and laughter as we drive around seeing Christmas lights while drinking hot chocolate. Everyone is in a great mood, and it is the best time. All the Christmas cookies that we bake will turn out delicious and look like they came from a professional bakery. Our gingerbread house, of course, looks like we made it from scratch and is so well decorated that it could be in a magazine.

Expectation

My kids will love every activity I have planned and will not complain one bit. There will be plenty of time in our calendar for all the things. I imagine the giant smiles and the thank yous we will receive on Christmas morning. The gifts that we put so much thought, effort, and money into will be appreciated.

Everyone will love Christmas dinner. Then we will go see family, where there will be big giant hugs, and everyone gets along and spends quality time connecting. We will feel fulfilled at the end of the season.

I know some of you are rolling your eyes and laughing at me right now, and I am laughing at myself as I type this because I know how ridiculous it sounds. Still, every year I find myself getting a little disappointed in how everything went. 

As much as I want it to, nothing goes as I expect it to.

At Christmas time in Florida, it is too hot for hot chocolate. My cookies never look as gorgeous as those from a bakery. Our calendar gets so full that it is hard to relax and enjoy. Oh, that Christmas present you thought they would love, they look at it with a partial smile and toss it in the pile with the rest, and then play with the box it came in.

Reality. Still fun and delicious!

Don't get me started on the meal. Yeah, it's the roll and the dessert that they eat. The gingerbread house is falling apart because the icing isn't strong enough to hold up the sides and it looks like there was a candy explosion in my kitchen. The surprising, though not really, is that there is always fighting and complaining. Sometimes we leave the season feeling empty.

Maybe that is what you really pictured when I was describing my expectations, because if we are really honest, we know that it isn't going to go perfectly or even exactly like we thought it would.

So how do we navigate this Christmas season so that we aren’t left feeling disappointed, exhausted, and unfulfilled?

Changing High Expectations into Flexible Moments

If we are putting all this hope into a perfect Christmas season, then we will be majorly disappointed when things go awry because they can and will. 

My husband tells me to lower my expectations, and I think that is helpful for some people.

However, it doesn’t matter what I do; I always set high expectations. So I have to be intentional about making sure that my focus is on the right things. More on that in the last section.

Something else that helps me is to remind myself to be flexible with the plans. If it is too hot for hot chocolate, then we grab ice cream instead. My kids are always up for ice cream. My kids didn’t want to go see Christmas lights last year, but I did, so we went to a fun park with lights that they would enjoy, and I would still see the lights.

I also like to try to see the good in the scenario. If my cookies don’t turn out beautiful, that is okay. They are going to be enjoyed anyway. My kids will never let a cookie go to waste. When my child eats only the roll and dessert at dinner, it means they are eating and enjoying what they like. The box that is being played with, instead of the toy, is their creativity and imagination at work. I’m still working on the good in fighting and arguing. If you've figure that out, let me know. haha.

Create More Space in Your Schedule

It is really important to me to have some downtime during the Christmas season. I try to only put things on our schedule that we actually enjoy doing. I ask my kids each year which traditions they would like to do this year. We try to plan and enjoy those. I always include seeing Christmas lights on our list because it is something I enjoy.

If you are hosting and you don't like cooking, pick up the meal if you can. You can also make a main dish and ask everyone attending to bring a side dish. You don't have to do it all yourself. It will still be enjoyable for everyone else and even more enjoyable for you if you let yourself off the hook a little. We travel to see family and one year as a gift to our family, we got dinner catered because we didn't want our family to have to worry with the meal. It had been a really hard year with different cancer battles going on and so this was such a small thing that could be done to help support our family that year. We still enjoyed the meal and most importantly, we were able to spend time with each other.

I like to include chill days where we just relax and watch movies or play at home. Christmas Day is a time where we actually just relax at home. We don't travel that day. We just spend it at home together. That is what works for us because our family lives in a different state. If that day isn't an option, then try picking a different day or maybe even a morning or afternoon.

You don't have to go to all the parties and events. Figuring out what is most important and enjoyable to your family will help to create some room for rest. That rest is so important so we don't feel exhausted at the end of the season. Maybe you enjoy the hustle and bustle and more power to you!

As we enjoy the season and rest, it is important to remember what it is all truly about.

Leave the Christmas Season More Fulfilled

Many times, we can leave the holiday season feeling empty. Sometimes, we put our focus on all the activities and fun surrounding Christmas and forget why we are celebrating Christmas in the first place. 

Christmas isn’t about all the activities we can do and all the presents we can get. Christmas is about celebrating Jesus' birth. It is about how God came down to earth in the form of a baby to become the Savior for us all. He was and is the greatest gift we have ever received!!!

We can be intentional this year about making sure that Jesus is the center of our season. We can stay in the Word of God every day. If you can’t read it, then listen to it in your car on your way to places. You can read the Christmas story in Luke or do an Advent each day. No, I am not talking about the candy advent calendars. Although, I do love a good piece of dark chocolate. I am talking about an advent that goes through Jesus' birth. You can find these in books and online. I actually enjoy one that Hannah Brencher does. She sends it to you by email each day. It is wonderful, and I enjoy it every year.

Starting my day in the Word helps me posture my heart in the right place for the Christmas season. During this crazy time of year, my heart needs it more than ever!

Let's stay in the Word this season and focus on Jesus. We will leave Christmas feeling more fulfilled rather than empty if we are actively seeking Him this season.

I pray this Christmas season that you will not let disappointment ruin your season, that you will leave time to rest and read God’s word this season, and that you will leave the season feeling fulfilled.